Monday, March 30, 2020

The Language of Emotions - Notes

Link to Book: The Language of Emotions

Save, download, review, revisit, use, etc...: Your Emotional Vocabulary List

Emotions briefly covered below 
  • Anger
  • Jealousy & Envy
  • Fear
  • Grief
  • Happiness
  • Joy
  • Sadness
  • Guilt & Shame
  • Contentment
much more ---> Start Here


Short explanation
"Anger’s job is to help you set and maintain effective interpersonal boundaries around the things and ideas you value. At its most subtle level, anger helps you uphold mutual respect and keep open the lines of communication in your relationships."

"If your boundaries are broken (through the insensitivity of others, or in any other way), anger comes forward to restore your sense of strength and separateness."

Questions to ask yourself when feeling angry
What do I value?
What must be protected and restored?

Jealousy & Envy

Short explanation
"Jealousy’s job is to arise in response to challenges to the stability of your intimate relationships...envy’s job is to arise in response to challenges to your access to resources or recognition. Both of these emotions keep you safe and secure in your social world."

"Both jealousy and envy arise in response to risks to your social or personal security."

Questions to ask yourself when feeling jealousy 
What has been betrayed?
What must be healed and restored?

Questions to ask yourself when feeling envy
What has been betrayed?
What must be made right?


Short explanation
"Fear is a crucial emotion that exists to help you orient to your surroundings, identify change and possible hazards, and take actions to keep yourself safe...Without your fear, you’re unaware, unintuitive, disoriented, and unsafe."

"Fear helps you focus yourself, identify where you are in relation to what you’re sensing, and bring all your faculties into the present moment. Fear comes forward to give you the energy and focus you need to orient to change or novel situations. "

Questions to ask yourself when feeling fear
What action should be taken?


Short explanation
"Grief...arises when something is lost irretrievably, or when a death occurs – be it actual death, or the death of important attachments, ideas, or relationships."

"...grief transports you to the deepest places when you have no choice but to let go – when the loss of vital relationships or vital attachments feels like (or is) death itself."

"Grief will arise in response to many kinds of loss: to the end of a love relationship, to the irretrievable loss of your health or well-being, to the loss of a cherished goal or possession, to the end of normalcy and stability, or to a stunning betrayal of trust. Grief will also arise in response to never having had something we’re all supposed to take for granted, such as health, strength, security, or a happy childhood."

"Grief enables you to survive losses by immersing you in the deep river that flows underneath all life."

Questions to ask yourself when feeling grief
What must be mourned?
What must be released completely?


Short explanation
"Happiness helps you look outward (or forward to the future) with hope and delight!"

"Happiness performs a specific function (it helps you look at the world with hope and delight) – but it can only do this properly if it’s treated with respect and allowed to arise in its own way and in its own time."

The internal statement
Thank you for this lively celebration!


Short explanation
"joy seems to come forth during moments of communion with nature, love, and beauty – when you feel as if you’re one with everything."

"If you can recall the expansive, radiant, and powerfully calm feelings you have when you’re in your favorite natural setting at the most beautiful time of day, or when you’re with a person or animal you love and trust utterly, you’ll be able to identify joy."

"Whole people understand that joy is not a goal in and of itself, but that joy arises of its own accord in a life that’s resourced with honest hardships, triumphs, ordeals, loss, hard work, love, laughter, grief, and wholeness"

The internal statement
Thank you for this radiant moment!


Short explanation
"Sadness is a wonderful emotion that arises when something needs to be released. This thing might be an idea, an attitude, a possession, a stance, an ideology, a belief, a relationship, or a way of behaving in the world (etc.) that no longer works for you."

"Sadness helps you let go, relax, rejuvenate yourself, and come fully into the present moment — not because you’re chasing after happiness or any other allegedly positive emotions (there is no such thing as a positive emotion), but because you know how to let things go and rejuvenate yourself. And when you let go, your sadness will recede naturally (because you’ve attended to it skillfully), and other emotions will arise, depending on your situation and your needs."

Questions to ask yourself when feeling sadness 
What must be released?
What must be rejuvenated?

Guilt & Shame

Short explanation
"Guilt is a factual state; shame is an emotion."

"Shame is the natural emotional consequence of guilt and wrongdoing."

"Shame arises to help you moderate your behavior and make sure that you don’t hurt, embarrass, destabilize, or dehumanize yourself or others."

Questions to ask yourself when feeling shame
Who has been hurt?
What must be made right?


Short explanation
"[Contentment] is a form of happiness and pleasure that turns inward, toward you, and says, 'Hey, good job!'"

"...contentment tends to arise after an inner achievement. Contentment arises when you’re living up to your own expectations and your internal moral code, and when you’ve accomplished an important goal or done your work well and properly. When it’s healthy, your contentment comes forward in response to tangible actions and the mastery of challenges."

"Contentment also arises when you’ve successfully navigated through your difficult emotions – especially your anger, hatred, and shame. Authentic contentment arises reliably when you respect yourself and others, and when you respect your emotions and allow them to guide your behavior."

The internal statement
Thank you for renewing my faith in myself!